Britain, It Turns Out Breadsticks Aren’t What You Think They Are
So, you may have heard Americans talking about breadsticks. They’re very passionate about them.
I’ve been assuming it was just a weird American proclivity, like biscuits and gravy, or how they’re letting a old leather handbag with an orange wig run for president.
A particular restaurant, Olive Garden, which from what I understand is like an Italian Wetherspoon’s with less tragedy and more forced corporate jollity, offers UNLIMITED BREADSTICKS.
This offer is very popular.
But the question is why? Because these are breadsticks, right?
Hard-baked, very thin bits of bread of some sort. You used to get them in Pizza Express in a little plastic packet.
They’re fine. You can eat one or two while waiting for your pizza but, frankly, they aren’t that great. No British person has ever felt any particular love for them.
So why in the hell are Americans so passionate about these dry, tasteless sticks?
i love olive garden Breadsticks
12:39 AM – 11 Aug 2015
Who needs love when you can have Olive Garden breadsticks
02:43 AM – 31 Jul 2015
I love Olive Garden’s breadsticks more than most people so
05:16 PM – 30 Jul 2015
If Olive Garden breadsticks haven’t made a positive impact on your life than I don’t believe you are living life..
11:33 PM – 06 Aug 2015
And it gets weirder! There’s an entire meme about leaving a crappy date but taking the breadsticks.
Why would you stop to take breadsticks? WHY?
What the fuck are you people thinking? Why would you make a meme about these insanely lame things?
Because, it turns out, they mean something else, and that something else is MAGNIFICENT.
They’re talking about actual lumps of actual magnificent bread.
Bread covered in butter and garlic and deliciousness.
It’s not free dry twigs. It’s FREE FRESHLY BAKED BREAD.
Britain, we are so, so left out! This is worth making a damn meme over.
Unlimited ones of these? HELL FUCKING YEAH.
I’m so sorry, America. We’ve been wrong this whole time. Can we have some please?
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