25 Sexy Halloween Costumes For Men That Should NOT Exist
The “schlong” unscrews to hold two beer cans, which I guess is convenient.
Ohhhhhhhhh, I get it.
“Down for the Count” costume with inflatable girl
This costume SUCKS.
“Party In My Pants”
“Hey ladies, there's a pants in my invited and you're party.”
Because there's nothing women love more than a 2.5-foot sequined one. (Ladies, you shouldn't wear that bikini top, either. STAY STRONG.)
Paul Bunyan didn't die for our sins for THIS.
Maybe if you put a shirt on you'd get promoted to colonel, sir.
Mini Peekaboo Kilt
What if there's a BREEZE???!!!???
No thank you, sexy version of Jon Gosselin.
Big Balls Scratch-Off Ticket
This costume is nuts.
“Rock Out with your Cock Out”
That chicken looks so perturbed.
Guilty Pleasure Singlet
I don't believe this is prison issue, sir. Sir?
“Let's Get Physical” costume
“Hung Like a Horse”
Hung like a horse's decapitated polyester likeness.
“Biggest Show on Earth”
“Heavy Hose” Firefighter
I don't believe this would be useful in preventing any sort of actual fire emergency.
“Morning Wood” costume
How many mini sateen zebras had to die for this?
“Genie in the Lamp” costume
This is only acceptable if Santa is wearing it because then it's like one of those endless GIF loops.
“Lucky Green Bun Hugger”
“He was so sexy. He had the fake beard of a Duck Dynasty uncle and the underwear game of an Irish Chippendales's dancer.”
Sexy Ring Toss
I want all my outfits to come with a painfully literal top hat explaining its theme.
I'm more haunted by everything north of the equator tbh.
Alternate Breathalyzer test: If you're drunk enough to think blowing into that is a good idea, it's time to go home.
“Country Lovin' costume” with inflatable lamb
DON'T YOU DARE BRING LAMBS INTO THIS.
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