25 Reasons Why It’s Absolutely Terrible To Be Italian American

1.
You may have heard some rumors that being Italian is fun because the food is “delicious.”

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2.
The dessert is “borderline heavenly.”

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3.
And the pizza is “life changing.”

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4.
Well that’s a DISGUSTING lie!

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5.
::: dry heaves :::

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6.
::: sign of the cross and prays for death :::

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7.
Luckily, Italian Americans never want to eat.

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8.
And they rarely ever think about food, or what they’re having next.

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9.
And it makes sense, because, like… WHY would you want to eat this?

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10.
Or drink this?

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11.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

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12.
And Italian Americans NEVER want to spend time with their families.

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13.
That’s because they’re SO. UNBELIEVABLY. BORING.

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14.
And don’t even get me STARTED on the food that happens at those family gatherings…

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15.
I just feel sorry for the children, ya know?

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16.
Italian American parties? Fuhgeddaboudit. Waste of your time.

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17.
All they’ll want you to do is come over and have the WORST time of your life.

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18.
No one wants that.

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19.
NOT fun.

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20.
Homemade pasta? Yeah, HARD PASS.

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21.
Feast of the Seven Fishes? More like, GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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22.
Struffoli for the holidays? Only actual crazy people would want tiny donut-like morsels that melt in their mouth.

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23.
So, no, you DEFINITELY don’t want to be an Italian American.

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24.
There’s legit nothing fun, or yummy, or wonderful about it.

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25.
Just count your blessings you’re not one of us…

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