25 Reasons Why It’s Absolutely Terrible To Be Italian American
You may have heard some rumors that being Italian is fun because the food is “delicious.”
The dessert is “borderline heavenly.”
And the pizza is “life changing.”
Well that’s a DISGUSTING lie!
::: dry heaves :::
::: sign of the cross and prays for death :::
Luckily, Italian Americans never want to eat.
And they rarely ever think about food, or what they’re having next.
And it makes sense, because, like… WHY would you want to eat this?
Or drink this?
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
And Italian Americans NEVER want to spend time with their families.
That’s because they’re SO. UNBELIEVABLY. BORING.
And don’t even get me STARTED on the food that happens at those family gatherings…
I just feel sorry for the children, ya know?
Italian American parties? Fuhgeddaboudit. Waste of your time.
All they’ll want you to do is come over and have the WORST time of your life.
No one wants that.
Homemade pasta? Yeah, HARD PASS.
Feast of the Seven Fishes? More like, GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Struffoli for the holidays? Only actual crazy people would want tiny donut-like morsels that melt in their mouth.
So, no, you DEFINITELY don’t want to be an Italian American.
There’s legit nothing fun, or yummy, or wonderful about it.
Just count your blessings you’re not one of us…
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