24 Times Target T-Shirts Went Too Far
Joanna: I feel like an old man who JUST learned what “binge-watching” means came up with this. No one in real life has ever said this sentence.
Chelsea: This is so noncommittal, it’s offensive. Pick a show, lady, or go home and figure out what your favorite show is.
Joanna: Don’t call me a beach, Target. You’re the beach.
Chelsea: If you’re that afraid of a beach killing your vibe, maybe just don’t go?
Joanna: I wasn’t pretending. 🙁
Chelsea: Maybe don’t wear this to the airport.
Joanna: Is that…a good thing? Unclear.
Chelsea: I think that means she’s sleeping with her eyes open.
Joanna: I am so DONEday with people saying “Sunday funday.” There’s no fun to be had on Sunday when the anxiety about going back to work on Monday just eats away at you the entire time.
Chelsea: I gasped and made the same face as a blobfish when I saw this. I’m so bummed out.
Joanna: I think I speak for everyone when I say, what does this even mean?
Chelsea: This is the same friend who would come up behind you, pretend to mug you and be like AHAHHA JUST KIDDING. Not cool, Meryl. Not cool.
Joanna: Is this some sort of anti-yoga propaganda? I genuinely don’t understand.
Chelsea: Bed yoga! It’s the new trend.
Chelsea: There is only one thing worse that a T-shirt can say than this: “Fiancé.”
Chelsea: I hope the person who has this shirt wears it everywhere. On dates, to job interviews, to funerals, etc.
Joanna: To the wedding.
Joanna: I would argue that being fit has been in style for at least 100 years.
Joanna: I refuse to do any of these things.
Chelsea: That’s no way to live your life.
Joanna: These shirts are making me feel dumb because, again, I don’t get it. Quad like the muscle or where college students play Frisbee?
Chelsea: SO MANY LAYERS.
Joanna: OK, shirt, WE GET IT. You’re a magical nomad who can’t be tied down. You thirst only for adventure and you bought this shirt from Target to prove it.
Chelsea: In some states, it’s illegal to go on adventures, roam free, or have wanderlust unless you wear a shirt like this. That’s just a fact.
Chelsea: Going to start saying this before anything I don’t want to do to get out of it. “But first, yoga!” *runs away*
Joanna: I feel like the person who wears this shirt is just screaming “YOGA!!!” all day anyway.
Joanna: One time I drank coffee before a workout and I felt invincible and also like my heart was going to explode.
Chelsea: Being sponsored by coffee is great. The deal includes yelling “It’s Coffee Time!” at the top of your lungs every 10 minutes.
Joanna: I have three questions.
1. What does this even mean?
2. What does this even mean?
3. What does this even mean?
Chelsea: No sex in the sun room, only sex in the moon room.
Joanna: But…you don’t have to run for wine. You can just have the wine. Who is making you do this?
Chelsea: This is honestly terrifying. Spoiler alert: If someone is wearing this, they’re gonna Gone Girl you.
Joanna: Sometimes I dream too hard and I wake up and my pillow is covered in blood. Is that too graphic?
Joanna: Glitter. Glisten. Glamour. Love. Laughter. I’m dead inside.
Joanna: OK, this one is kind of a curveball, Target. I am speechless.
Chelsea: Which cheeks though?
Chelsea: This makes me fear for when she stops running.
Joanna: I think we’ve maxed out on shirts with random French words for no reason. I think we have to move on.
Chelsea: I read this as “YOU! ME! WEEEEEEEE!” and this can only be worn on a slide.
Joanna: I’ve seen Star Wars, but I still don’t get this. Stormtroopers are basic? Target keeps making jokes I don’t understand!!!
Chelsea: I like that they found a model who kind of looks like Rey. I guess I get that the stormtroopers are the same but this is also kind of scary and aggressive. What if it’s the stormtroopers who are saying that and I’m about to be killed?
Joanna: I also thought you could read it as a threat. Like, was Luke Skywalker basic?
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