19 Tweets About Canadian Tire That Will Make You Go, “So True”

1.
On new features:

John Sobey
@johnsobey

Canadian Tire now offers life insurance… that you can roll up with an elastic, stick in a kitchen drawer, and never use.

09:04 PM – 12 Oct 2010
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2.
On collecting:

Mike™
@BindleParty

Is my brother laundering Canadian Tire money? Is this the “family business” he was bragging about when he was drunk?

12:25 AM – 29 Dec 2012
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3.
On exchange rates:

Tanya Chen
@Tanya_Chen

Canadian Tire money is now worth more than the Canadian Dollar

05:08 PM – 04 Jan 2016
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4.
On foreign value:

Stats Canada
@stats_canada

Canadian Tire money is now worth 10 times more than the British pound

02:51 PM – 24 Jun 2016
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5.
On aging:

Ren Bostelaar
@renbostelaar

I am laughed-at-a-Canadian-Tire-commercial years old

02:08 AM – 26 Nov 2014
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6.
On swagger:

Darrin Rose
@darrinrose

Walking home from Canadian Tire with paint cans made me feel like John Travolta in the opening credits to Saturday Night Fever.

07:32 PM – 11 Nov 2010
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7.
On departments:

Todd Van Allen
@heyitstva

If you ever wondered what eating in the Apocalypse will be like, Canadian Tire has a Food section now.

07:12 PM – 07 Jan 2013
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8.
On valuable skills:

Hon. Steve Murray
@senatormurray

I only know how to install ceiling fans because of my 5 years at Canadian Tire. That weird ceiling with all the light fixtures? THAT WAS ME.

03:31 AM – 26 Jun 2012
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9.
On genius ideas:

James McLeod
@TelegramJames

You know what would make Canada a better place? If Tim Horton’s accepted Canadian Tire money.

12:42 PM – 07 Nov 2011
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10.
On locations:

Cole Bastedo
@colebastedo

Just off the Ivory Coast and need patio furniture? Canadian Tire has you covered.

10:07 PM – 04 Jan 2013
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11.
On the first signs of the holidays:

Adam Barken
@adambarken

Christmas in Canada – snow, poutine, and a burning hated for the never-ending procession of Canadian Tire commercials.

01:54 AM – 09 Dec 2013
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12.
On feeling rich:

Patrick Lauria
@hereliespatrick

You know that feeling when you find money in your pocket? Well, its not the same when it’s Canadian Tire money.

05:32 PM – 03 Nov 2013
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13.
On employees:

Steve Patterson
@patterballs

Apparently your smartphone is tracking your in-store movements for retailers. Which is more than in-store employees at Canadian Tire do.

01:15 PM – 15 Jul 2013
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14.
On retiring:

22Minutes
@22_Minutes

Study finds Cdn retirees are better off than American ones. Because they have an extra retirement fund in Canadian Tire money.

11:35 PM – 20 Jul 2016
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15.
On merchandise:

Chris Jancelewicz
@CJancelewicz

So, like, every box is already opened at Canadian Tire, right?

07:56 PM – 09 Aug 2014
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16.
On fan fiction:

Terrance Balazo
@T_Balazo

“Ever dance with a shovel in the pale moonlight?” – The Joker, trying to sell a shovel, during his first floor sales shift at Canadian Tire

08:53 PM – 17 Jun 2013
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17.
On podcasts:

Amanda Brooke Perrin
@brookeperrin

On the next episode of Serial: Canada
Scott MacDonald spoke poorly about a Newfie in a Canadian Tire parking lot.

09:23 PM – 02 Jan 2015
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18.
On holiday gifts:

SHAUN HATTON
@megashaun

Yes, nothing says Happy Mother’s Day like giving mom a wooden block full of knives. Thanks but no thanks, Canadian Tire!

03:39 AM – 28 Apr 2011
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19.
And on dads:

Stats Canada
@stats_canada

88% of the nation’s dads are currently in the Canadian Tire ‘Screws and Fasteners’ aisle

06:29 PM – 25 May 2013
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