16 Halloween Costumes No Man Should Ever Wear

1.
Skeleboner

What this costume really says: I am compensating for having a small dick.

2.
Baseball Nut

What this costume really says: Ladies, please steer clear.

3.
Genie in the Lamp

What this costume really says: I am too lazy to think of a better sleazy costume.

4.
Down for the Count Costume

What this costume really says: The only thing I'll be going home with is this inflatable doll.

5.
Pussy (Cat) Magnet

What this costume really says: I've never seen a woman naked in real life.

6.
Dr. Howie Feltersnatch, Gynecologist

What this costume really says: This should really read “Dr. Ivan Nevafelteasnatch.”

7.
Giant Boob

What this costume really says: I don't realize that I really am just a giant boob in life.

8.
Firefighter with Big Hose

What this costume really says: I don't have the body to pull off a “sexy” fireman.

9.
Snake Charmer

What this costume really says: I don't understand what being culturally offensive is.

10.
Camille Tow Aerobics Instructor

What this costume really says: I have the most disgusting Google search history. Like, it's sick, sick.

11.
Country Lovin

What this costume really says: I am that guy who makes all sorts of awkward sexual jokes — all the time!

12.
Nice Beaver

What this costume really says: “No, I am not a squirrel, I am a beaver! Don't you get it?”

13.
Happy Priest

What this costume really says: I find pedophilia funny.

14.

What this costume really says: I actually have no idea how to clam dive, at all.

15.
Poo Poo Platter

What this costume really says: I am a literal shithead of a person.

16.
Shocker

What this costume really says: I am a HUGE Dane Cook fan.

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